Can't Sleep
by Kaye - K
Summary: Kento's late night journal. One Shot.


I can't think about anything right now, it's too hard to. I woke up about an hour hours ago and I can't get back to sleep. It's like I have something nagging me in the back of my mind. I don't pay much attention to it usually, but this time it's really bothering me. I tried drinking some warm milk. I heard from somewhere that it's supposed to help you sleep. What I heard was wrong. I'm just as wide awake as ever. I'm thinking that if I just lay here for a while and try to rest that I'll eventually fall asleep. But I've tried that a thousand times before and it's never worked. There's no guarantee it will work this time if I try it. I'll try it anyway.

It didn't work. I'm back here and I'm still awake. Man, I just want some sleep. Peace of mind would be nice, but I still have something that's bugging me. It could be my stomach. That warm milk didn't help. I guess maybe if I put this stupid pen down and tried to sleep I'd actually get somewhere. Nah, I don't think so. It hasn't been helping for the last couple hours and it's not going to help now. I've just, got a lot on my mind, I guess. I got up this morning, ate breakfast, went for a bike ride, that bike is about to fall apart, then I hung out with Cye for a while. We didn't really do much. I guess that's why I'm not tired. Maybe I need to try and tire myself out a bit. That could work. Jog a few times around the block.

Nope, another failure. Now I'm just hot and sweaty. It's about, four o'clock in the morning and I've got to get up in about two hours to help Ma open the place. Boy, she's going to give me some guff when I show up half asleep. Sorry, Ma. Hey, it's not like I can help it though, I've tried everything. I'm not about to listen to that tape that Cye gave me. Ocean noises may rock him to sleep like a baby, but they just don't work for me. I tried it once and I dreamed that an army of starfish were attacking my house. Not exactly something I'm looking forward to reliving.

Gah, I just keep thinking about that thing. That's gotta be why I'm having so much trouble. I can't block it out of my mind. Every time I shut my eyes and feel like I'm about to enter La La Land its pops back into my head. Why is this bothering me so much? I've seen it happen a million times before. I've got a big family. Kids do those types of things. I've even seen worse things done. Some people don't have to worry about as much stuff I have to worry about in their whole lifetime. Talk about the weight of the world. That doesn't bother me so much anymore though. But this, this has really got me. Alright, sleep, sleep, the more I think about it, the more I want it, the farther away it is. What's going on, man? That's not the way it should work. I want to sleep, but the harder I try to sleep, the more awake I am. Okay, that still makes no sense. Rowen doesn't have problems like this. Dude's out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Why can't I be like Rowen? Ha ha, would I really want that? Nope, I like ya buddy, but I wouldn't want to be ya. I couldn't fit nearly as much food into my stomach if I was as skinny as that. Who in the world am I talking to? That's right, myself. Hey Kento, how's it going? You're crazy, stop talking to yourself. Maybe this is a sign that I'm tired. Nah, that would be too good to be true. Nag, nag, nag that's all my brain is doing. It won't shut off. I need to take a shower.

I feel a little better now, I've probably woken up the entire house by stomping around, but I feel better. I'm just not light on my feet. Can't help it. This is what, attempt number five-hundred in trying to go to sleep? I usually don't have this problem. The only time it happens is when my body wants to sleep, but my head doesn't. Is a bit of shut eye too much to ask for? Yeah, I guess so. There's that thing again. Get out of my head! Alright, maybe if I write it down I'll get some sleep.

There was this kid today when I was in the store with Cye. He was with his family and they were looking at baseball bats for their older kid. The other one was just sitting off to the side with a bat in his hand trying to swing it. His parents weren't watching him. They were too busy helping their other kid. It happens, parents get distracted. Well, I wasn't thinking I guess 'cause I didn't do anything when the kid knocked over a whole rack of mitts. An accident, nothing too bad. His mom and dad were mad, I could see that, but they didn't even say anything to the kid they just turned away from him and kept shopping for their older son. The little guy's older brother yelled something over his shoulder, "Way to go genius!" or something. I've teased my brothers before, but the look in this kid's eye when his brother said that really burned me. So, I helped him pick up the mitts and showed him how to hold the bat the right way. He said "thanks" and kept on trying. I guess, it wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't knock the rack over a second time as me and Cye left the store. That, I could tell, was no accident. The kid didn't even get one look from his parents. Where's the justice in that?

I don't know if that helped at all, but . . .

Kento's mother found him in the morning asleep at his desk. His head was resting on a piece of paper with a bit of unfinished writing. His arms hung at his sides and his pen lay next to his chair on the floor. She would allow him to skip opening the restaurant just this once.

"Older brothers are always on duty," she said as she mussed his hair a bit.

He grunted sleepily and smacked his lips as she quietly closed the door behind her.


End file.
